Dictionary of Republicanisms:
I’m not sure what the original source is for this list, but I couldn’t resist sharing it:
Bipartisanship, n.
1. When conservative Republicans work with moderate Republicans to pass legislation that Democrats hate.
Compassionate Conservatism, n.
1. Republican pre-election concern for the disadvantaged
2. (a) I got mine; (b) I got yours too
3. Poignant concern for the very wealthy
Democracy, n.
1. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.
2. When they vote for us; see TYRANNY: When they vote for someone else
Ending Tyranny, catchphr.
1. Bombing followed by military occupation
Energy Independence, n.
1. The Yucca Mountain renovation program
2. The Caribou witness relocation program
Freedom, n.
1. God-given right of every American to agree with Bush and his policies
2. What Arabs want but can’t achieve on their own without Western military intervention; it bears a striking resemblance to chaos
Free Markets, n.
Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense
Frivolous Lawsuits, n.
Those filed against corporations that donate heavily to the GOP
Growth, n.
1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich.
2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich
Health Savings Accounts, n.
1. Another tax shelter for the healthy and the wealthy
2. Investment capital for banks
Honesty, n.
Lies told in simple declarative sentences—e.g., “Freedom is on the march.”
Job Growth, n.
Increased number of jobs an American has to take after losing earlier high-paying job
Medicare Prescription Drug Bill, n.
No Drug Company Left Behind
No Child Left Behind, riff.
There are always jobs in the military
Nonpartisan, n.
Member of good standing in the Federalist Society
Personal Responsibility, n.
1. Poor people trying to support their families on $5.75 an hour.
2. Rich people changing the tax code so their children never have to work
Reform, v.
To end all entitlements
Staying the Course, v.
Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result
Support the Military, v.
To praise Bush when he sends our young men and women off to die for a lie without proper body armor
